Scholar Start: If you haven't posted a thesis revision comment to the person below AND above yours in the comments section of Thursday's post, please do so now. If you have, feel free to take this time and revise any other student's thesis.
Agenda:
Scholar Start
Independent Reading
Post to today's Comments
Continue Drafting
We are going to aim for drafts to be due on Friday the 13th, when we will be peer reviewing. Remember, we will not have time in class on Thursday, because we will be doing ACHIEVEMENT WEEK in class.
Remember, there are only nine more days before IA2. Let's make our class time COUNT!
ProQuest-This is an excellent resource to use to find sources!
Society today reflects literary dystopias by the government observe society, technology changing the mindset of society, and the government controlling major life decisions.
ReplyDelete"by the government observe society" isn't correct grammar; you might want to consider flipping this sentence around a bit. Maybe "With technology molding the minds and priorities of modern people, the American government's obsessive monitoring of its citizens coupled together with the country [do you mean the American government?] seizing control of its people's major life decisions, society is starting to resemble a literary dystopia."
DeleteYes, today’s society is a dystopia because people judge each other to hide flaws of there own, people are treated inhumanly for disabilities and people are being modified and watched.
ReplyDeleteDo not start your thesis with yes or no.
DeleteAmerica’s society today and way of life reflects certain dystopian novels through aspects such as government control, community ranking, and stress relieving conditions.
ReplyDeleteAmerican society. And what do you mean by stress relieving conditions? Do you mean dependency on mood-altering substances?
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ReplyDeleteThe world today has aspects that can be seen in many literary dystopias: things such as fashion, government, or social tendencies of the society.
ReplyDeleteFashion how? Extreme fashion? Just saying fashion, government and social tendencies are way to broad. Are you saying the government is becoming more totalitarian? are people becoming more introverted? be a LITTLE more specific.
DeleteToday’s society is a reflection of societies found in literary dystopias because mass production is becoming complex and more common like in A Brave New World, most people are willing to watch other people die on television like in The Hunger Games, and equality is becoming an issue due to social media.
ReplyDeleteI'd be less specific in your thesis. Instead of "watch people die" I'd direct it more along the lines of "Americans are now embracing brutal violence as entertainment." I'm not sure where you're going with "Equality." Do you feel like America is going to extremes to promote a sense of equality among its citizens?
DeleteThe famous quote “Big brother is watching” has never been more true than in today’s world. We are constantly being watched weather by some sort of camera, satellite, or even fellow man. The same characteristics in a literary distopia can be found in the world that we actually live in. This is because our world is the foundation of a distopian society.
ReplyDeletewhether*****
DeleteA thesis statement should be one sentence. A long sentence, but a sentence none the less.
DeleteThe United States of America is on the threshold of a dystopian society because some American teens are participating in a fight to the death game, the American government is monitoring citizens, and the government is trying to handicap citizens through lack of education.
ReplyDeleteAmerican teens are fighting to the death? You might want to go a little broader with America isi a culture that embraces violence. American government is monitoring its citizens to an extreme? I'd go a little more broad with the lack of education one, and focus on handicapping citizens. I'm interested in looking at your research. You've clearly found some interesting stuff.
DeleteThe dystopias like ‘Brave New World’ are eerily similar to the society lived in today by the change of social mobility, less connection to religion and nature, and control of the citizen rights.
ReplyDeleteExcellent. I love that you used the term "Social Mobility!" Your second point is awkwardly worded. I'd also trim you last support down to "control of citizen's rights" However, what do you mean by citizens? Americans, or any country?
DeleteConcerning the expansion of new technology, ideas, legal rights and freedoms, America’s society does not resemble or reflect the societies found in literary dystopias.
ReplyDeleteDo you mean to use the word "concerning" or do you mean "considering"
DeleteThese novels of dystopias have reflected through today’s society through visible barriers between social classes, drugging the populace, and a tyranny of happiness in the government.
ReplyDeleteI'd rephrase the start, its a little confusing. Also, what do you mean by "a tyranny of happiness?"
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ReplyDeleteThere are many items that make these worldly societies similar in literary dystopias, for intense North Korea keeps their people away from books from the outside world and they are not allowed on the Internet at anytime, The illegal drug abuse that happens all over the world , and Kurzweil theory where people will merge with machines which happen around 2045.
ReplyDeleteThese are all excellent points, but they are too specific. These would all make good sub-points within your supporting paragraphs. Maybe instead of keeping the point specific to North Korea, for instance, you might say due to the increased level of government control and censorship. This would open up your research to many more options.
DeleteModern day society is a reflection of dystopias within our own literature because governments are becoming more restrictive, cameras are being used to invade privacy, and the increase in globalization within today’s society.
ReplyDeleteI would go broader than just cameras invading privacy. I'd shift the focus to "American privacy is being infringed upon," you'll find much more support this way.
DeleteIn The Dark Tower series, as well as literatures from class, there is artificial intelligence in the form of robots, colorful glass balls that are similar to cameras and advanced technology like iPhones that reflect today's society.
ReplyDeleteAgain, it's fine if you reference this series in your paper, but you are being TOO SPECIFIC WITH YOUR POINTS. All three points you are offering are basically the same thing: we are facing a dystopian future because we have technology. Is your issue that people are being replaced with machines? You could find a lot of research to support that (factories, automated phone lines, self-check outs, ect.) Colorful glass balls (I am assuming that is from the Dark Tower Series) are from one book. I'd go broader than that, like "Americans are being overly surveilled." How are Iphones like a dystopian work? go broader. Also, you don't want to reference class in an essay.
DeleteTHESIS: Hence, this paper will channel how our society today is bringing forth aspects of a dystopia because of: cell phone companies putting tracking devices in their phones, the torturing of 10 teenagers in Syria, and how the NSA monitors phone calls, messages, and social media.
ReplyDeleteI would work on your phrasing a bit. Why were 10 teenagers being tortured (this isn't something that should be in your thesis, but I'm just not sure how it relates)
DeleteI would rewrite your last point to merely how the NSA invades American's privacy.
Our society is not a reflection of a dystopia because we have more liberties than are present in dystopian society does not have, we are less controlled, and still experience our own rights.
ReplyDelete"...we have more liberties than are present in a dystopian society does not have..." doesn't make a lot of sense. I'd use the word "restricted" instead of controlled. Also I would say we have our rights protected by our government rather than 'experience our own rights'
DeleteThe society today is a reflection of dystopian novels because of the culture in different states, the government monitoring people, and citizens being born into certain social classes.
ReplyDeleteculture differences? Again, I'm not sure how much support you can find to argue this, but good luck.
DeleteOur society is turning into a dystopia from the result of the use of products to feel better, the ability to be watched, and technology overpowering the people.
ReplyDeletereword your first point-maybe something along the lines of "product innovation is centered around personal pleasure." the ability to be watched is worded to suggest it is a positive point.
DeleteYes, today’s society is a reflection of societies found in literary dystopias because our leaders have no care for what we do, it seems good at first but ends up being bad, and negatively written pieces were shoved away.
ReplyDeleteDo not start your thesis with yes or no.
DeleteThis is a little confusing. I'm not really sure what you supporting points are.
Dystopian societies are not a reflection of modern societies; this can be concluded by the differences between the ideas of child treatment, the use of drugs, and the public view of death within both societies.
ReplyDeleteGood work. Some parts are a little confusing-I would say "public attitudes towards drugs" rather than "use of drugs" Drug use is present in both, it's the attitude towards them that is the issue. Also, you might want to clarify what you mean my "drugs." Do you mean mood-altering drugs? Or do you mean ALL drugs? (you could, I just want some clarification)
DeleteIn many ways, yes, today’s society is a reflection of the dystopias found in literature such as in "A Brave New World" and "The Hunger Games," because of our substance abuse, voluntary euthanization, and attempts at cloning.
ReplyDeleteyou shouldn't use "our" in your paper. It's first person.
DeleteToday’s society is not reflective of a dystopia because we as citizens still retain the rights of ourselves, our speech, and our authority within the government.
ReplyDeleteSuccinct, but strong! good work.
DeleteAmerican society shows qualities and traits of literary distopias, the government has the power to monitor us at all times, we focus more time and money on celebrities, and we have little to no control over what we say or do.
ReplyDeleteWhat does our focus on celebrities mean? A stronger point would be "We focus our energies on frivolity rather than anything of substance" and you could use American celebrity-worship as a strong support for this.
DeleteToday’s society is a reflection of a literary dystopia because the American government is over-controlling in their lives, the government also revolves life around peoples death, and children are forced into armies.
ReplyDeletewho is their? what do you mean by revolves life around people's death?
DeleteIn Vitro Fertilization, the increasing use of technological devices, and the public's focus on prescription drugs in the United States make the world today extremely similar to literary dystopias.
ReplyDeleteI would swap "use" for "dependency on."
DeleteAre you suggesting American's over-medicate? If so, you might say "American reliance on prescription drugs"
The world is a literary dystopia because the Chinese and Korean government can forcibly watch their people as if The Giver has became real life, many governments won't share everything they do and conspiracies made in a pale white horse are created for their secrets, thirdly, the government hides even what people consume as a secret to keep food costs low and change the way nature works like in A Brave New World.
ReplyDeletewhat do you mean by many governments won't share everything they do? Do you mean governments are secretly abusing their powers? your wording is really confusing. You don't want to state "as if The Giver has become real life" because at this point, the reader might not have any idea what you are talking about had they not read the book. Try and trim this down some. What are you trying to say is the link to your first point? Are you wanting to say that some governments are monitoring and controlling their people to an unnecessary degree, or are you saying that the governments are restricting their people of happiness as a way to control them. I have no idea what you are talking about a pale white horse.
DeleteToday’s American society is a reflection of literary dystopias because the government is trying to control everything , people are trying to be ideal and technology is taking over.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean by "everything?" and people being ideal? what is technology taking over? you are being a little too vague.
DeleteToday’s society is like a literary dystopia because it isn't like a literary dystopia because Americans have more liberties than are present in dystopian society does not have, the USA are less controlled, and still experience today’s rights.
ReplyDeleteeither it is or it isn't. please don't state both. USA has to be spelled out. Also, you can't say "its different because we have today's rights" it is way too obvious. It's almost like saying "we are different from the book 1984 because it is 2013 right now." your wording is very confusing; you will need to revise.
Deleteeither it is or it isn't. please don't state both. USA has to be spelled out. Also, you can't say "its different because we have today's rights" it is way too obvious. It's almost like saying "we are different from the book 1984 because it is 2013 right now." your wording is very confusing; you will need to revise.
DeleteToday’s society is a reflection of societies found in literary dystopias because portions of the population are living in a dehumanized state, are distrusting of the natural world, and lead uniform lifestyles.
ReplyDeleteExcellent. If you want to try and tweak your opening statement here so it's less cookie-cutter, that might make it stronger.
DeleteToday’s society is a reflection of dystopian societies found in literature because we are sending troops to get massacred in a war like The Hunger Games, mass production is becoming more known, and equality is becoming rarer because of the disadvantages of Twitter and Facebook .
ReplyDeletereplacing troops with a word like individuals would make it have a stronger connection. I don't know about mass production being more "known," you might want to try something along the lines of the attitudes that go along with mass production are bleeding into other aspects of human life.
DeleteToday’s society shows some very similar characteristics to that of a literary dystopia because of the way the U.S. government controlling our technology, we don't control our own lives because of the power of the government, and ______.
ReplyDeletevery is a weak word. don't use it. are they nearly identical? are they the same? Don't use very. you have to spell out United States, I'd re-word you second point to the government has control over most aspects of our lives; it sounds stronger.
DeleteModern society worldwide reflects many literary dystopias due to censorship through the Internet, uniformity of ideas and ways of life, and prospering economy in areas of power.
ReplyDeleteCensorship of the internet. prospering economy in areas of power is too obvious. you need something that makes it more what you are trying to say, (i'm assuming you're referring to the disproportionate quality of life between major hubs of business and government vs. surrounding areas?
DeleteTechnology dependency, caste systems, and government control in society today reflects characteristics of a literary dystopia.
ReplyDelete"Antiquated caste systems" would use more upper-level words :)
Deletealso, excessive government control would express the idea you are trying to illustrate. (reflect, not relects)
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ReplyDeleteI don't like the way this is worded... /:
Deleteyou need to post one, or you'll get a zero.
DeleteDue to government sovereignty, residents losing their cognitive abilities because of invalid information, and citizens having their basic rights confiscated, modern society is, in fact, a reflection of various literary dystopias.
ReplyDeleteexcellent.
Deletethough honestly, you might want to say something more akin to brainwashing. maybe government controlling popular opinion through invalid information?
DeleteModern day society is evolving into a literary dystopia due to the result of product use to feel a certain way, the ability to be monitored by the government, and technology becoming the main priority.
ReplyDeletewhat do you mean to feel a certain way? and what do you mean by product? "the ability to be monitored by the government" has a positive connotation.
DeleteThe restraining government, unorthodox processes executed, and the obliviousness of citizens demonstrate societies from literary dystopias.
ReplyDeletesuccinct, but effective!
DeleteModern society reflects many literary dystopias by the government control, sacrificing the lives of military men and women, and ____.
ReplyDeletelook at other classmate's main ideas, and see if you find one that is effective enough for you to use. obviously, you will find different research to back up your claim, but it might help you think of some ideas.
DeleteLiterature has had a major impact on the development of society. It has shaped the writings and works of certain authors have degraded societies to their most primitive form civilisations, changed political systems and exposed injustice. A dystopia is a community or society, usually fictional, that is in some important way undesirable or frightening. Yes today society is a literal dystopia because people are being inhuman for judging the worst for people with disabilities, lack of privacy dealing with the government, and equality. It is the opposite of a utopia. Books that you see a dystopias is The Hunger Games by: Suzanne Collins.
ReplyDeletethesis statement is one sentence.
DeleteModern society compares to literary dystopias because of class division between the rich and poor, body modification/physical changes made to the body, and the use of drugs for recreational purposes and temporary happiness.
ReplyDeleteInteresting! Good work. You might want to try playing around with how you have the start worded if you feel like breaking away from the "formula" :)
DeleteToday’s society does share some qualities with those of dystopian novels, mainly government control, corporate power, and government observation.
ReplyDeletegovernment observation implies people observing the government, when I think you mean the opposite. also, how is government control a different thing from government observation?
DeleteOur society is transforming into a dystopia from the effects of stricter government, advances in technology, and the ability to be watched upon any moment in time.
ReplyDeletestricter isn't the best word to use here; perhaps oppressive? I would look from something with more negative connotation.
Deletehow do you feel technological advances are creating a dystopia? the invention of the wheel was a technological advancement.
who is watching? Your third point needs to be re-worded, it sounds a little awkward.
Should we be worried that technology is turning our society into a dystopia. will technology be the downfall of our society and man? Is today’s society a reflection of literary distopias?
ReplyDeleteWhat is you thesis statement? this is just three questions.
DeleteAmerica’s society is a reflection of the dystopia from A Brave New World In some ways it does, for example; The US government can watch us through our TVs when they turn on the camera without the owner knowing, and the IRS is watching us online by using social media sites and mas camera instalments.
ReplyDeleteyou start is a little confusing. why do you have a capital letter in the middle of the sentence? I'd get broader with the TV thing and just go to the fact that they government can watch and monitor us without our knowledge or consent. I don't think the IRS is a valid point-though I haven't seen the research. you only describe 2 points.
DeleteThe world is a literary dystopia because the Chinese and Korean government can forcibly watch their people as if The Giver has became real life, many governments won't share everything they do and conspiracies made in a pale white horse are created for their secrets, thirdly, the government hides even what people consume as a secret to keep food costs low and change the way nature works like in A Brave New World.
ReplyDeleteToday’s society is a reflection of dystopian societies found in literature because we are sending troops to get massacred in a war, mass production is becoming more known, and equality is becoming rarer because of the disadvantages of social media.
ReplyDeleteToday’s society is a reflection of societies found in literary dystopias because the government can monitor our every move, workers go underpaid to work for several hours, and now our personal liberties are being taking away.
ReplyDeleteBy constantly watching the citizens in the US, letting bullies continue to torment other children in public schools, and allowing the idea of complete equality to destroy the American government, the United States of America are slowly but surely turning into the dystopias many people are reading about today.
ReplyDeleteToday’s society is a reflection of societies found in literary dystopias because of government’s officials capability to control society, artificial insemination, and youth having to fight for their lives.
ReplyDelete